Saturday, January 20, 2007
You are my all in all...
okay. i guess i am really not fated to post the entry that i JUST typed. anyways, forget it then. today really made me realise that i needed this camp to relax. we had some award presentation today. was quite nice with mr. GCK as the prize presenter.
everything went quite ok-ly, with plan A,B,C here and there. was quite fun too, with the rest of the people who were there as well. haha xinning, u look great in that GOH uniform. haha i guess i'll have a chance to wear it too, just u wait. haha! and yea, the shocked look on ur face is unforgettable, really. some thingy that is scanning everyone except me. haha(:
anyways, we had our lunch after the whole thing. nice one i guess. haa. and i hop you all don misunderstand me. i noe u saw me talking to---. u could have misunderstood that i was talkin bout that thing. i wasnt anyway, so ya. and YOU too.. u said that smth was wrong. yes, i agree that there is really smth missing. i cant point it out as well. i hope u will not think that i am thinking wad u don want me to think. don worry, i will not betray u. i do noe where the limits are. trust me, please.
i read some things that really made me stop to think. i dont noe if UU are talkin bout me. it seems like me, cos thats the only thing that could make u pissed. i dont noe wad other thing that could have happened. but, u said that "its ok." was it really ok? i noe u dislike her before, yet u dont show it. will u do that to me as well? i really dare not think bout it. u hide ur feelings soo well. how would i noe wad u are thinking? u say tat some ppl are hypocrites. i dont noe wads happening. i hope it wont strain our friendship.
i dare not think about it, cos i dont know wads gonnna come out of it.the problem lies with being too close to you all i guess. i noe that u all have expectations of me. i myself do have it for myself too. i will be sad when i noe smth went wrong. now that i have to guess the minds of u people, i really am tired. i hope u wont judge me from this. i want ur trust in me. not anything else.ok, i guess i have thought it over just now. maybe i think too much. but u all made me do so. i dont like to be mentally tortured. i myself dont noe wad i want. mixed-up feelings u noe. this is draining me out again. but i will persevere, because my lord and others gave me the strength to do so when i am weak. h is the treasure that i seek.
this is dedicated to frens out there-- i thank all of u for the encouragement that u people gave me. sometimes i thank all of u for being there to listen to me talk. a listening ear is all i want sometimes.(: but for those whom i believe are people who add sadness into my life, sorry but i think its not worth getting angry over u all. u treat me that way. similarly, i will use the same attitude towards you. but i guess i gotta thank u all. without all these crap, there wont be me who learns from all these rubbish that comes out from u people. just leave me alone. thanks.thats it for now. camp on monday till wednesday. time to let go of all things. i should have done so earlier on. bye(:
Labels: my post.=D
YEO Suzanne
11:08 PM
